Blog: The Nature of Being Organized
Ten Ways To Have What You Want
Asking powerful questions to move my clients forward is an integral part of what I do as a coach. Here's a question that can help shift your perspective: If I got what I want, would I have what I wanted? This is the kind of question that makes one stop and really think. Say the question out loud. What feelings do you notice? Where do you notice them in your body? What immediately comes to mind?
Sometimes when we "want" something we can be coming from a place of lack. We might want something to fill a gap in our lives. If it's something superficial or outside of ourselves, the likelihood that getting what we want will not give us what we wanted which is usually to feel happier, more loved, or more fulfilled. Those outside wants are things like a new relationship, better job, new house, sporty car, or a move to a different area. True happiness occurs when we make changes in ourselves. For example, becoming more organized, being on time, giving freely of time and talent, or living a healthier lifestyle. These are changes that require an attitude shift and call on us to look within, not without.
So as you contemplate having what you want consider these steps:
1. Decide—Get clear about what it is that you do want. Yes, be specific! Focus on the benefit you will receive once you have what you want. Focus on how much better you'll feel and how it will enhance your life. Avoid focusing on what you don't want. For example, if you're overweight, focus on how good you'll feel at a certain weight. Say, "I want to weigh…" Not "I want to lose…" How you language what you want is one of the keys to success.
2. Acknowledge—Give yourself encouragement by focusing on your past successes and strengths. Visualize the end result. This is the "I can" part of the process.
3. Write it down---Putting pen to paper and making a written agreement with yourself is very powerful. You can also create a vision board or put post-it-notes on the refrigerator.
4. Use the SMART method when setting the goal: S-specific (I want…), M-measurable (how much?), A-attainable (keep positive), R-realistic (is it doable?), and T-time (a date for completion). Allow the specifics to be flexible. Being too rigid can cause fear and avoidance.
5. Tell someone—Confiding in a trustworthy person can help you stay on track.
6. Laugh—Lighten-up about the process. Have plenty of laughter resources on hand. Pets and children are wonderful laughter resources!
7. Find gratitude—Go on a "gratitude scavenger hunt" every day. Challenge yourself to find gratitude where you've never found it before.
8. Turn the ordinary into the extraordinary—Find pleasure and wonder in all the small things including all the small accomplishments.
9. Let go of the outcome—Give up the attachment to how it will look. Allow the goal to guide you, not control you. It usually turns out much better than you could imagine anyway!
10. Connect—Find like-minded people or spiritual resources for support to prevent feelings of loneliness or hopelessness.
Whenever we look within it's a challenge because we've been trained to put our focus on what's outside of us. Making a commitment to change our thoughts and attitudes requires courage, time, and a lot of patience! However, when we become ready to make this inner change it's because we have taken on a new awareness. This awareness prevents us from going back to square one. We may falter, but we'll never go back to the exact same place we started. That's the good news! When we're truly ready for change nothing will stop us and we'll always be completely supported by the Universe. Go for it!
Happy Valentine's Day!
posted on: 2/14/2008 12:00:00 PM by Maggie McCauley
category: The Mental Side
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The Nature of Being Organized
by Maggie McCauley
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Maggie McCauley, ACC, LICSW, The Effortless Organizing Coach, is the president of "A New View". She takes a holistic approach to organizing coaching her clients to create new habits that promote overall well-being, a sense of freedom and peace of mind.
My Favorite Books
- The Success Principles by Jack Canfield
- It's Hard To Make A Difference When You Can't Find Your Keys by Marilyn Paul
- Organize With Confidence by Elizabeth Hagen
- The Secret Of Letting Go by Guy Finley
- Life Is Short--Wear Your Party Pants by Loretta La Roche
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
- The Seven Whispers by Christina Baldwin
- Loving What Is by Byron Katie
- Making A Change For Good by Cheri Huber
- "Happiness Now!" by Robert Holden, PhD.