I read a theory recently about midlife beauty, but you'll have to find your 7th grade yearbook (or your kid's) to understand. Open it up and look at all the 6th grade faces. The kids still kind of look like babies don't they? Now turn to the 7th graders. They're more like a Frankenstein creation - braces, bad haircuts, faces that haven't quite grown into themselves yet.

When you move to the 8th graders you begin to see the swan emerging. The girls have better hair, the boys seem to be growing into their faces. Mid life is the new 7th grade. It's the second time in your life when physical, hormonal, and emotional change is so dramatic that people can read it on our faces. And just like when we were kids, some of us at mid life still look 30 while others look a lot older.

While I was back East taking care of my mom this fall, I ran into an old friend from high school I hadn't seen in 30 years. She had been a total hippie chick - never wore makeup, introverted and reflective, totally "granola" type. She is now 51 and looks fabulous with long gorgeous blonde hair, an incredibly fit body and is outgoing, funny and very successful as an entrepreneur.

It would be patronizing to say that every woman looks better as she ages; life happens when we're making other plans and sometimes it steals our mojo through no fault of our own - the loss of a child or spouse, a bad marriage, financial or job burdens.

I guess my point is that regardless of how well or hard we age, none of us escape it. It's happening to ALL of us as we speak - so how are you going to choose to react? I used to rail at the passing years until I realized that I was wasting the precious time I DID have by not living in the moment - and the only real time we possess IS the present. It's good to look as good as you can - and diet, exercise and managing stress are important. I don't think anymore that our goal is to look younger, but to look as good as we can, gaining strength and power from our age and our experiences.

That's taken me awhile. In my family looks mattered - a lot - and the unattractive, overweight and badly dressed were soundly criticized. In fact, my ex-husband once remarked, "So and so committed the cardinal sin in your family Robin, they look bad." I'm finally getting that the real key is understanding who you are at midlife and being ok with that.

That's exactly what happened to my 51 year old girlfriend - and who's to say her look is inauthentic? Her look now matches the person she's become - which by the way - is a GREAT definition of strength and beauty in midlife!