People simply assuming that you are free to help with a project or attend a meeting, without asking first. Folks dropping by your home or office to "chat" during work hours, not giving a thought to the fact that you might be busy. Your kids expecting to be chauffeured around all weekend, never once imagining that you might have other plans. And technology has made it even worse -- quick, drop everything and deal with each request as it comes in, lest you make the other person wait even 30 seconds for a response! But what about your time? Isn't it just as important?

There is one hard truth out there that most people don't want to face -- you are responsible for the fact that other people either respect or don't respect your time. There is no one else to blame but yourself. You have to be the one to set some boundaries about what is acceptable and what is not. The only reason that folks take advantage of you, expect too much from you, or don't allow you the room for personal free time is that you have let them behave that way in the past -- and they've gotten used to it. But if you draw a different line in the sand -- develop some "time management ground rules" and stick to them -- you will be amazed at the change not only in yourself, but in the people around you.

It's not going to be easy to change people's behavior, especially if they've grown accustomed to your being at their beck and call. But this battle is well worth fighting -- if you want to survive in a crazy world with out-of-whack priorities about how we use our time. You'll hear comments like, "You were always available to babysit at the last minute before" -- or, "You never had a problem working weekends in the past." So what? You don't have to explain yourself or justify your decisions to anyone -- it's your time, apportion it as you see fit! It's unfortunate, but most folks out there believe that feeling stressed, pressured, overloaded, and trapped is simply the status quo. You will have to convince them otherwise by your good example.

So if other people don't understand at first, they will when they begin to see the positive changes in your life. Suddenly, people will be asking, "How is it that you can have time for a hobby (or reading for pleasure or travel or spending a day at the park with your kids)? Can you tell me your secret?" And that's an amazing day -- because you get to help one more person regain control over his or her life. You are spreading the gospel of "setting boundaries" -- you touch one person and he or she touches one person and soon we have a society that's regained a sense of perspective about its priorities. Hallelujah!

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