Blog: Organizing For Special Needs
Create Well Being with Communication
Are you someone who tries to make everyone else happy?
Do you find yourself stressed out and sometimes even resenting the commitments in your life?
It seems so cliche to say that you must take care of yourself before you take care of others. What does this even mean?
It is o.k to say NO!
People will reflect back to you how you feel about yourself and your time. If you have never had boundaries they will expect this of you. If it seems that you "need" to do things for other people, they will fill that need.
It sometimes seems that people who give and give and give are appreciated the least.
If we don't honor our time, others won't see the need to either.
The impact of all this selfless giving can be chaos, confusion, and no time for self reflection.
You may find yourself getting sick, or canceling plans at the last minute because you've taken on too much.
We all want others to think well of us.
Remember, we prove who we are by our words and actions.
It is important to have integrity.
If you say you will do something, do it. People will gain trust and faith in what you say.
This means that we must plan "buffer time" between activities. Plan to be 20 minutes early to your appointments. If you have a few minutes to yourself it's a good thing. You can plan; think; get a snack; make a call; or just take some deep breaths.
Be a Bold Communicator...It is not always easy, but it can be a gift to everyone involved.
It's scary at first to say what we think or need, but just take a breath, and blurt it out there, it will get easier with practice.
Be Kind, Clear, and Firm. Keep your voice neutral and not disapproving. It is not their fault that you have given too much of yourself, they have followed your lead.
Expect to go through a bit of turmoil with your loved ones if you start re-claiming time for yourself. As they see it, it's not about you, its about them. They expect you to do what they want. Why would you stop? Why with them? Don't you love them? Are you being selfish and mean? NO!
But they won't understand the new you at first. It will take practice. There will be growing pains, the downside being that people may not want to accept your limits. They may not yet be able to see the Big Picture, and how this will affect your life in a positive way. The upside being that you will have more time, calm, peace, and integrity, as well as the eventual deeper respect of those who love you.
They will learn through you that doing something hard to make your life better is worth the added effort.
You will find yourself giving freely and happily to those you care about. You will have less stress, and less resentment.
Your relationships will grow and blossom, because you have made the effort to speak the truth, and love yourself.
People will reflect back to you how you feel about yourself and your time, and your freely given efforts will be more appreciated.
You will find your life and those around you will be improved through your open communication.
Lisa Alishio, COTA/L
Clarity Home Consulting
Live Well in Your Home
posted on: 1/16/2008 12:30:00 PM by Lisa Alishio
category: Special Populations
Organizing For Special Needs: < Previous Post - Next Post >
Blog Central: < Previous Post - Next Post >
Organizing For Special Needs
by Lisa Alishio
View This Blog
Lisa Alishio, COTA/L, is a professional organizer with a background in pediatric and adult occupational therapy. Her intention is to help people of all ages and abilities to "Live Well in their Home".