There was someone I used to work with who, well aware of their tendency to look at the NEGATIVE side of things, used to constantly tell themselves to "think more positively". This was said with such a feeling of desperation that I just knew that not only would they not think positively, they would probably go even further into negative thinking. The mere fact that they kept pushing themselves to "think positively" was a sign that this would ultimately be COUNTERPRODUCTIVE.
WHY THIS DOESN'T WORK
So many of us have interpreted the desire to be positive thinkers in a very narrow and ultimately ineffective way. The push to be positive often results in ignoring our true feelings. Instead of recognizing that we don't always feel positive and learning how to CONVERT and turn round our feelings, it so often ends up with us DENYING them altogether. The Law of Attraction, as defined by Abraham Hicks states that "you attract to yourself what you give your attention and energy to, whether wanted or unwanted".
GETTING WHAT YOU DON'T WANT
One reason why positive thinking doesn't work is that our FOCUS is in the wrong place. So we say "I don't want to be ill" and believe that this thought will prevent us from being ill. So where is our focus? On being ill! Because the Universe doesn't recognize "not" or "don't". How many times have you told yourself NOT to forget something and then what happens? Oops you've forgotten it!
Another reason why positive thinking doesn't work is that we often VEIL our negative feelings with a positive surface. positivity. So we say "I want a loving relationship". Sounds good right? Except that underneath there is the hidden message that having a loving relationship wouldn't even be an issue -- unless you'd been in one or a series of not so loving relationships. So it's the hidden message and negative feeling around it, that is still coming through. Ultimately, you're still pushing against something and it's still counterproductive. You're likely to attract more unloving relationships, even though you THINK you've stated otherwise.
A BETTER WAY
How can you begin to reverse this? Rather than focusing on your thoughts, focus on your FEELINGS about a given situation or what you would like the situation to be. Start to visualize and sense what you truly DESIRE. Focus on ramping up good, positive, energetic feelings about what you desire, rather than the thought.
Practically you can do this by building a "creation box" of pictures, ideas, notes, to stimulate your IMAGINATION of how you would like things to be. Appreciating life's abundance in what you already have by keeping an appreciation JOURNAL, feeling and acting like the prosperous person you actually are and channelling your good feelings into what you desire.
A POSITIVE OUTCOME
In fact, instead of being a positive thinker, aim to become a positive feeler -- it's much more VISCERAL and real. Live your life as though you already HAVE what you desire and you'll make way for it to come to you.
Julie Plenty is a Personal and Business Coach who suffered from low self-esteem for years. She developed tips and techniques to raise her own self-esteem and turn her life around and now wants to help others do the same. Visit her website at www.kickstartyourselfesteem.com.
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