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     Enough About Me…How About You?

One of the biggest marketing mistakes I observe constantly, in the newspaper, on the web, within company brochures, is the missing word: YOU. I cringe with disgust as I notice how enthralled these companies are with themselves.

For instance, a sales letter I received late last year stated:
  • "We have been in business for 10 years"
  • "I am certified in three different areas..."
  • "I know this is the kind of service you've been waiting for"
  • "We serve clients in the Los Angeles area"
Now, if your thinking what I'm thinking..."Who cares?" There wasn't one mention of anything that benefitted ME in the letter. It spoke only of them, with a proud self-serving tone. Why would I do business with someone that doesn't care enough to learn more about MY neeeds, wants and desires? This guy was too busy telling me about himself. 

He's not alone, however. Almost every direct mail piece I receive in the mail is filled with "I", "me," "our," and "we." Now, it's really not all that practical to write a letter without saying "I," "we," or "our" -- but you should certainly have the word "you" 5 or 6 times for every REFERENCE to "us" "we" or "my company."

Here are some examples of how you can easily change the way you present yourself from a "ME" mentality to a "YOU" attitude." 
  • instead of "I am pleased to tell you...” say "You will be pleased to discover..."
  • instead of “Our staff is experienced..." say "Your questions will be handled by qualified, experienced people..."
  • instead of "We guarantee that our product will..." say "You will love the new model, or you will receive double your money back!"
  Does the wording make more sense?

When you write a sales letter, copy for a website or email, put yourself in the MINDSET of the READER of your letter. You should constantly say to yourself "What's In It For Me?" It's the oldest lesson in sales.

If you aren't consistently telling the reader what's in it for her, she won't read your letter, brochure, email, etc. To help you get the best results with your copy, here's something you can do that I learned from one of my teachers. After writing your copy, go back and HIGHLIGHT each-and-every "I," "we," "our," and "us." Then, go back again and RE-WRITE each sentence with a "you attitude."

Let your prospects know you care about their interests. Speak in terms of the benefits they will receive. Tell them what is in it for them. Because, they do not and will not care about you, until they KNOW how much you care about them.


Craig Valine is the publisher of The AwfulMarketing Alert Newsletter, "Where you learn good marketing strategies by looking at the mistakes of others" Visit awfulmarketing.com.

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