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You Are Here: Home - Newsletters - "Organized For A Living" - Article
Maybe you have an inkling that something could be working BETTER for you. Maybe you’re trying to get ahead in your career and something’s holding you back. You’ve been told it’s your attitude, or interpersonal skills, or “soft” skills, or something nebulous like that. You may even have had coaching suggested to you. If you’re tempted to contract with a “business coach” think again. The terms in coaching are still being formulated in this new field and these titles can be MISLEADING.
KNOWING WHAT YOU NEED
If you’re an entrepreneur and want to know how to write a business plan, market, or make more profit, then, yes, you need a BUSINESS coach. If you specifically want career information, you might contract with a career coach. However, if you’re looking for the skills and guidance to succeed in your field, to correct a weakness, to understand your strengths and how to capitalize on them, to develop a winning attitude, you do not need a business coach. You need BROADER training than this, and a much larger perspective.
A NEW SKILL
Chances are you already have the education and credentials you need for your career field, or you know what you need and have it in the pipeline. What you need is help getting AHEAD in your profession and how to compete effectively with all those people who have the same education, intelligence, skills and training. For this, you need EQ -- emotional intelligence.
WHAT IS EQ?
All the knowledge in the world won’t work for you if you can’t MANAGE yourself. Emotional intelligence means understanding your emotions and how they interface with your intellect; and then how to apply this in your dealings with other people.
REASONS TO WORK ON EQ
If you let anger get the better of you, or contempt you can’t produce. And if you let someone else intimidate you, you can’t be effective. And if you have great intellectual ideas you can’t put into project form, or you can’t motivate others in a team environment, you are also not going to achieve. When you ask most people what’s the most stressful thing at work, they’ll say something related to people. And the first person that can be causing you trouble will be YOURSELF.
WHERE BUSINESS COACHING FAILS
This is why if a business coach tells you to smile at the receptionist when you walk in (which I heard one do the other day), as a solution to your interpersonal skills problems, you are being deprived of really useful and long-term information. If you don’t understand that business has to do with RELATIONSHIPS and how to build and sustain relationships, you will be left in worse shape than you were before, because you will think you have a solution to a problem when you do not.
WHAT YOUR COACH IS THERE FOR
A coach should be able to tell you WHY as well as HOW. The most valuable thing you can learn is broadly applicable skills, and the ability to think through situations, balance your emotions and reason, understand alternatives, and choose ones that don’t sabotage you, others, or projects. In good coaching, there is no “take home point,” but rather a “take home modus operandi”.
CHOOSING A COACH
How do you choose a coach? Know what you’re after, at the SUBSTANCE level, not the surface level. You don’t want to waste your coaching money on superficialities. The more clear you are on your GOALS, the better you can interview a coach. The less sure you are of what you’re after, the more important that you start with an emotional intelligence or life coach, because they can help you DEFINE it. In order to get what you want, you have to know what you want.
YOUR COACH'S BACKGROUND
Consider carefully whether you want a coach with training just in coaching, or one with a degree in a field like psychology or business in place of, or in addition to, coaching training. You may prefer a coach with an educational background SIMILAR to yours, or want one with more education than you have. You may want a woman or a man, someone over 40 or under 30. It’s personal PREFERENCE.
MAKING SURE YOU CLICK WITH YOUR COACH
The most important variable is going to be the FIT. The person has to be someone you’re comfortable talking with. You need to like their style and who they are. Coaches call themselves many things, but the one that has “your name” will have special QUALITIES only you can define.
HOW TO START YOUR SEARCH
Start by doing the RESEARCH. Enter "emotional intelligence coach" or "personal life coach" (or one of the other specific career or business coaching specialties, if you have determined that is what you need) on a search engine and investigate some sites. You can also look for coaches on www.coachville.com and www.coachfederation.org.
INTENTIONALITY
Decide exactly what you’re LOOKING for -- life balance, business success, career change, getting organized.
CATEGORIES
Coaches IDENTIFY themselves in many different ways -- business, corporate, emotional intelligence, attention deficit disorder, relationship, career, personal life. Be aware that even if you start out with a category in mind, most transformation involves all areas of our lives. A coach who works in a GENERALIZED cross-category may be a better idea (i.e., life, motivational, emotional intelligence). Some clients hire several coaches -- one for each area of life. You can have it your way!
INVESTIGATE
Check out the coach's training and CREDENTIALS. Get some idea of the person’s background and PREPARATION for coaching. (It’s unregulated and unlicensed, so it’s up to you!) If you want business coaching, you may be more interested to see a Masters in Business Administration, or that they've had success as an entrepreneur. If no education or credentials are listed on their website and marketing materials, you should be suspicious.
USE YOUR INTUITION
As you look over websites, use your emotional intelligence. The website will represent the coach and you should be getting REACTIONS. Don’t censor them. Do you like the colors? How does the photo of the coach make you feel? How is the site arranged? How organized is the site? Does the writing resonate with your style and educational level, or what you want in a coach? If the site is sterile and appears to have been designed by cookie-cutter, you need to ask yourself why it reveals so little about the person. You want a coach who takes pride in his or her work. After all, you are going to be "the work."
TESTIMONIALS
Are there testimonials from actual CLIENTS on the website? Look for signs that working with that coach as touched clients, elevated and transformed them, motivated and energized them, helped them manage emotions better, solved problems and gotten RESULTS.
MAKE THE CALL
Most coaches offer a FREE initial sample session. Here you will learn a lot. Choose 3-5 coaches, email for an appointment, or just place the call. Note your spontaneous reactions. Do they seem relaxed, self-assured, and experienced? Do they refuse to give any information or do they start right in coaching? How do they handle your questions about fees and procedures? Do they require a contract?
THE INTERVIEW
Think of some creative ways to TEST your potential coach:
FINDING THE RIGHT MATCH
Think and feel your way through this important decision. Ask yourself "What do I think about this coach?" and also "How do I feel about him?" and you'll be PLEASED with your results!
Susan Dunn -- The EQ Coach™ -- has an MA in Clinical Psychology. She provides coaching resources, tools and support for your personal and professional development -- including numerous ebooks, home study courses and EQ Alive, an EQ Coach training and certification. Susan may be contacted at www.susandunn.cc or . Want to receive these kind of articles via e-mail each month? Sign up for a free subscription. Click here to return to "Organized For A Living" -- November 2005... Add this page to your Bookmarks!
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