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	Don't Multiply Your Business Times Zero -- Keep Your Cool in Conflict

	by Bill Zipp

Nobody likes a pop quiz, but this one's really easy What's two times zero? ZERO. What's 20 times zero? Still zero, right? What about 200 times zero, 2,000 times zero, or even 2,000,000 times zero? Anything times zero is still zero. It doesn't matter how big a number you put in that equation, if it's multiplied by zero, it will always be zero.

THE EQUATION THAT NETS YOU NOTHING

I have seen talented, gifted, and brilliant leaders do the same thing to their business, multiply all its incredible potential times zero, by failing to do one thing: keeping their cool in CONFLICT. Angry words and emotional outbursts may feel good at the time, but they destroy our RELATIONSHIPS with people. And it is people, energized, empowered, and inspired people, who bring us the success we seek. Conflict happens in business. You can't avoid it. So take a different approach, use these three keys, each beginning with the letter S:

BEFORE SAYING ANYTHING, STOP

Collect your emotions and stay in CONTROL. The first thing that happens to us in a tense situation is that our emotions sense danger and adrenaline begins to surge through our system. When that happens, we instantly become more focused, more intense, and more prone to act. Drunk on adrenaline we say things and do things that we REGRET later. Anyone who saw Tom Cruise jump like an idiot on Oprah's couch knows what I mean! This is referred to as "emotional hijacking" and it's an apt image. Our emotions charge to cockpit of our airplane, take over the controls, and crash our life, and our relationships, into the ground. When that overwhelming impulse to act flows through you. stop. Do nothing. Get control BEFORE you say anything, before you do anything.

BE SAFE

You are ready to speak when you have collected your emotions. The next thing to do is create a positive CONTEXT where you words can be heard. A wise person once said, "No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care." This is best done by first saying what you are NOT saying. In other words, if you needed to speak with an employee who is always late for meetings, you could create a positive context by saying, "I don't want you to think, Tom, that I am not pleased with the quality of your work. I am. I want us to continue working together for years to come. But punctuality is an important issue for me and I need you to be on time for our meetings." By saying what you are not saying first, you create safety, a platform so to speak, for the issue you need to address.

BE SOUND

Say what you have to say in an open NON-CONFRONTATIONAL way. When you get to the issue at hand, state it clearly, plainly, and factually. The tendency we have when operating under the influence of adrenaline is to exaggerate our point and press our position too hard. This is not sound and will cause people to reject in its entirely what we have to say. Here's how to be sound: summarize the issue at hand in 25 words or less. If you can't do that, perhaps you are too emotional to deal with it. A 25 word summary is simple, CONCISE, and tends to be more sound than an endless rant. And when you are done writing out the 25 words, you may decide it doesn't matter anymore and drop the whole thing entirely.

AN EASY MANTRA

Here's the beauty of these three S's: you can actually remember them! Here are three powerful steps to follow the next time the pressure's on and you're tempted to lose your cool: STOP, be SAFE, be SOUND.

WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?

When we handle ourselves well in conflict, an amazing thing happens. The zero is replaced by a number that actually increases the VALUE of our business and the impact of our leadership.

Bill Zipp, President of Leadership Link, Inc., is a seasoned small business specialist. Bill has spent thousands of hours working with hundreds of business leaders, and his proven program, The Business Fitness? System, provides a step-by-step plan for building a strong, self-sustaining small business. For a FREE Special Report, The 3 Biggest Killers of Small Businesses Today (And What YOU Can Do About Them!) visit www.LeadershipLink.net.

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